Good morning bitches! As you are reading this, I am likely en route to the office for my 4th day back in person. I started this job last march, just a few days before we were sent to work from home. Yet somehow in the span of a week I managed to amass a small collection of random shit at my desk, not limited to:
7 notebooks (yes, really)
15 colored pens
A desktop mirror
My 2014 AP Stylebook
A blender bottle that I genuinely have no recollection of ever owning
Motivational kindness/love notes book (why???)
Sticker book for a 2020 planner
Journal called “Screenplays about my Cat”
Hardcover journal with gold page edges, simply called “CATS”
movie that will either make you love or hate social media more than you already do:
Cast your mind back to 2015, when Drake and his grey turtleneck dropped ‘Hotline Bling’ , Jon Snow died (kind of), and Peggy Olson invented feminism with her strut into McCann Erickson.
While I was soberly spring breaking with my mom, A'Ziah King was road tripping to Florida (don’t recommend) with a new friend (REALLY don’t recommend) to spend the weekend making fast cash at a strip club (you really thought I was going to use this third parentheses to shame a grown woman for making her own choices?) A few months later, she kicked off firestorm of tweets with this:
Get this girl a job in clickbait headline writing!!!! 147 tweets, an angry response Reddit post from “this bitch”, endless debates on the validity of her story and 5 years later, her saga became the first Twitter thread adapted into a feature film.
I highly suggest reading the first few tweets to get a gist of the story and her personality/writing style, but stop once they leave the seedy motel room for the club. You don’t want to ruin the many WTF moments this film so graciously delivers. Now, here’s the thing. Critics aren’t a big fan. But, hey, I’m not a big fan of critics so I don’t care and neither should you!! They’re over here analyzing it from a high brow ~internet culture~ perspective, but just ignore them and hear me out: If you go into watching this while subconsciously comparing it to party hijinx movies like The Hangover or Superbad, you will be left a bit disappointed. HOWEVER, if you go into it with the mindset of “this is going to be like being a fly on the wall of my best friend’s weekend of stripping and murder”, you will be absolutely delighted. After all, they didn’t call that thread “The Thotyssey” for nothin.
Watch Zola on Amazon Prime, YouTube or AppleTV+ for $19.99.
Old(er) movie with new (streaming) life:
*Throwing a glaring TW for police brutality on this one*
Blindspotting is about Oakland native, Collin (Daveed Diggs), a black man trying to get through his last 3 days of parole without any incidents, and the person destined to ruin that plan, his lifelong white friend, Miles. Within the first few minutes, Collin witnesses a cop murder a black man in cold blood—a scene that haunts him throughout the rest of the film.
(Disclosure: fans of Hamilton will be delighted to know that yes, Daveed raps during the whole thing, and Peggy/Maria Reynolds is there too.)
The whole movie is incredible, but last scene is a work of art. I found myself holding my breath the entire time Collin raps his way through unexpected armed confrontation with someone he has every right to want dead. The tension builds and builds while Collin freestyles every emotion he’s had during his life as a Black man (and especially the last 3 days) until the scene reaches its pinnacle moment and OH MY GOD I need to stop typing because I’ll spoil it and ruin it for all of you 😩😩😩
Blindspotting was originally released in 2018 and now has a spinoff show on Starz, where Anthony Ramos (Phillip Hamilton/Usnavi in In the Heights) joins the mix. For real, does the original Broadway cast of Hamilton have a Hollywood blood bond we don’t know about?
Watch Blindspotting with a STARZ subscription on Hulu & Amazon Prime.
breakup bop of the summer:
Move aside, Olivia Rodrigo, cause Billie has some BIG baggage to get off her chest that definitely does not involve strawberry ice cream and driving through the suburbs.
What starts as a dreamy ukulele-strummed reflection on a shitty ex-boyfriend evolves into an electric guitar-fueled series of lyrics that you (I) can’t help but scream-sing while driving down Lake Shore Drive at midnight even though you’re (I’m) in a perfectly happy relationship with someone who does not “make me fucking sad.” The song is clearly about someone real, yet is still vague enough for you to tie it to any trash man you’ve ever dated. Happy listening!
Personal favorite line: “made all my moments your own / just fucking leave me alone” 🔥🔥🔥
when it’s 1am and you’re about to order a mcflurry on uber eats:
I’m a big believer that you should never deprive your body of “bad” foods/food groups because life is short and ice cream exists for a reason. HOWEVER, I have a sweet tooth that I have accidentally trained to kick into overdrive when I’m happy, sad, anxious, traveling, celebrating, mourning, etc. etc. etc. I can find literally any reason under the sun to convince myself I truly deserve a large cotton candy blizzard. (I mean, I’m about to wrap up writing this GMB, that earns me at least a medium, right?)
Anyway, you just put a little strip on your tongue when you feel an unwanted sugar craving coming on. It’s not a magical diet pill with God knows what ingredients, it’s simply a lil plant-derived ingredient called Gymnema Sylvestre that instantly and temporarily alters your taste buds to perceive sweet foods as sour or tasteless. So even if you eat one and still feel the desire to take a spoon to a can of frosting at 2am, your mouth will send you right back to bed. (They’re in my purse rn but I am conveniently forgetting about them while I devour a rainbow sprinkle scone 🤤)
(Con: they charge $7.99 to ship a product that is *literally* the size of a Listerine strips container. Throw that shit in an envelope with a Forever stamp and leave me out of it!!!!)
that time carrie underwood liked an anti-mask tweet and twitter was somehow shocked???
But let us not forget the other messy season 4 finalist:
my dream first hire for the good morning bitches creative staff:
before I go…
I will leave you with this post about my mom’s headstone which was finally placed earlier this month. It brings me great comfort knowing that she has a beautiful marker, and I am honored to share this with those of you who have been with me since the days when she, too, was a good morning bitch.
Until next time,
xo,
Lily
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