Good morning bitches,
It’s been a while 👋👋👋 soooo let’s stop wasting time and get into it!
required watching:
Why Did You Kill Me? is Netflix’s latest true crime doc with a fascinating spin: the victim’s mom and cousin used MySpace to catfish and catch her killers. The film breaks down a fascinating story of family loyalty, gangs, and revenge in just 83 fast-paced minutes. The producers did a beautiful job capturing Crystal Theobald’s complex, imperfect and somewhat deceptive family dynamic without vilifying her mourning relatives. Bonus points for the (relatively) satisfying ending, early-2000s website graphics, and manual reenactments of neighborhood car chases that will keep you reeling about this story for days.
niche social media account of the week:
A girls brunch on Sunday prompted good morning bitch Gabbie Gresge to open my eyes to the food porn I didn’t know I needed:
Yes, an account dedicated to poached eggs.
Please, if you love me, watch this video:
speaking of Gabbie Gresge…
She took the opportunity on our 6-hour car ride Sunday to force—err, encourage—me to listen to Taylor Swift’s folklore and evermore albums for the first time. While I’m more of a listen-to-indie-exclusively-in-the-month-of-October kind of girl, I saw the year-round LIGHT with no body, no crime. For those also unfamiliar with this criminally underrated song, Gabbie aptly described it as “our generation’s Goodbye Earl” which, frankly, is all you should have to know before smashing that link to listen.
Anyway, alllll that to say that no body, no crime inspired some bored Swiftie out there to create this:
Embark on a 79-minute emotional journey of falling in love and growing apart and being betrayed and taking revenge, told solely through Taylor Swift songs. You’ll be reminded that TSwift really does have a song for every romantic situation—and even casual Swifties will be impressed that a compilation of 7 albums ends up sounding remarkably cohesive. Or, you can ignore all that and just listen to get a chuckle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
books books books books:
I finally broke down and bought a Kindle in February. The motivation a rectangular piece of plastic provides is astounding. I have been FLYING through ebooks instead of milking 2 months out of one audiobook. At this point I could write a whole mini-bitch about my 2021 reading (don’t worry, I won’t) but instead I will highlight my new fav author:
This suggestion came from friend/boss/good morning bitch Afua Owusu, who formed a friendship with Tarryn Fisher after reading one of her books. The Wives is Fisher’s most popular novel and is being developed into a show by Amazon Studios. It follows Thursday, a woman in a polygamous marriage who has never met her husband’s other wives until she is driven to dig into his life and uncover the secrets he’s hidden. It’s gripping from the first chapter and though you will be sure you have predicted the ending…you won’t even come close. This is one of those books I wish I could forget just so I could read it again. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
But WOOF, what I really came to talk about is the Love Me With Lies trilogy. The Opportunist is Fisher’s debut novel and kicks off the twisted story of Caleb and Olivia, two exes who cross paths after Caleb loses his memory in a car accident. In a split second decision, Olivia decides to pretend she has never met him—relighting a magnetic spark that his current girlfriend, Leah, will do anything to put out. Each book is told from a different character’s point of view with reveals and twists that will genuinely shock you over and over until the very last page. UGH, SO GOOD!!!!! (and also included in Kindle Unlimited.) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
headline that caught my eye as it joined the other in rolling to the back of my head:
Sigh. Yes, it’s true: skinny jeans are on their way out. I admittedly still enjoy a tight black jean, so I cautiously clicked on this article to see how quickly I need to snatch up some straight leg denim before I am the laughing stock of every Gen Z group chat. But you know what immediately made me ignore every word of this fashion listicle????
THE FACT THAT IT WAS PUBLISHED BY THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.
Even my father, who inspired my personal drinking game to take a shot every time you hear “I read in the Wall Street Journal…” would agree that this is the last publication that should be guiding the fashion decisions of any age group. (The phrase “stay in your lane” was first uttered for situations like this.) You can tell me my condo was a bad investment and that Social Security will run out before I retire, but stay away from my closet!!
If you feel compelled to read this drivel anyway, know that it contains multiple attacks that will hit you where it hurts, including this absolute blasphemy:
You can pry my sad, shapeless sweater from my cold, dead, comfortably attired hands!!
Do I look sad?? No!! Shapeless? Maybe!
iconic local politics content:
Genuinely one of the funniest things I have seen on the internet all year ^^^ No recap will do it justice so you’ll just have to watch and enjoy for yourself.
if you’re still unvaccinated but trying to have a shot girl summer:
Say goodbye to spending hours of your life refreshing signup websites. The Dr. B website will connect you with vaccine providers who have excess doses at the end of the day. Less waste and more vaccinations…win win!!
It takes just minutes to sign up, and then you get to just sit back and let that sweet sweet appointment come to you.
this week on twitter:
Until next time,
xo,
Lily
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