good morning bitches 4/27/2021

the sunday edition!

Good morning bitches,

Due to an abundance of Good Tweets, I reached the data capacity for this email quicker than normal. I apologize that it is short, but THAT’S LIFE!!!

Headline of the week:

Journalism peaked on May 7, 2021. Thank you, Canada House of Commons Representative William Amos.

(Related: In February, a Sacramento plastic surgeon showed up to his Zoom traffic court trial while in the middle of operating on a patient.)

great celebrity dragging moment:

Lana Del Rey announced her upcoming album on Twitter by tweeting out the album cover.

Lana Del Rey @LanaDelRey

Album out July 4th BLUE BANISTERS

In case you can’t tell… the album cover sucks. Fans started to speculate that she was using amateur photo editing website, Picsart, to create her album covers, and went so far as to start this Change.org petition:

Someone imagined what it would look like if Beyoncé resorted to this level of laziness:

queen elizabeth 'has been amazing' @missunitedface

like can you imagine

So I decided to give good morning bitches the Lana/Picsart treatment

It’s so bad it’s almost good!

the day a local celebrity was born:

KTVB.COM @KTVB

Mark Johnson

ktvb.comMark JohnsonMark Johnson is an anchor at KTVB in Boise, Idaho.

Idaho TV Station KTVB tweeted out the biography webpage of anchor Mark Johnson for…….seemingly no reason? Even Mark Johnson himself was confused:

Mark Johnson @Emjayktvb

@KTVB Uh.....this is awesome? And....huh?

And because the internet is the internet, a viral meme moment followed:

Chef Boyardarren @notDarrenDamon

@KTVB BABY MARK DO DO DO DO DO

ian zandi ! ! ! @IanZandi

Co-creators of the vaccine, Mark Johnson & Mark Johnson

Splenda @Splenda

Wanting to create a new Sweet Saying for our packets today but all we could think of was Mark Johnson.

Dictionary.com @Dictionarycom

Mark: a badge, brand, or other visible sign assumed or imposed. Johnson: the last name of Mark Johnson.

KTVB.COM @KTVB

Mark Johnson https://t.co/dP6rZpaFrn

Even the governor of Idaho jumped into the conversation:

Brad Little @GovernorLittle

As your Governor, my goal is to make Idaho a place for Mark Johnson to choose to live, and for the Mark Johnsons who have left to choose to return.

IT GETS BETTER THOUGH!! THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND……..WENT TO MIZZOU:

Mark Johnson @Emjayktvb

So...again...thanks everyone for making the past 36 hours the most Mark Johnsonish of Mark Johnson's life! Now, how do we start the campaign for me to achieve my life's #1 goal...To be the University of Missouri Homecoming's Grand Marshall! How can it happen?

Deep in the hollows of reddit:

It’s easy to find brands striking out on social media (like the Raiders after Derek Chauvin was found guilty of murder) which is why it was a delight to find a subreddit dedicated to brands going out of their way to make customers’ lives easier, sometimes at their own expense. r/antiassholedesign shows that sometimes, corporations DO have a heart!! Even…Amazon???

This week on Twitter…

Daniel Barnes @dnlbrns

A New York man, Robert Chapman, has been charged with entering the Capitol on Jan 6. The FBI began investigating Chapman after they got a tip from one of his Bumble matches. The FBI included the Bumble screenshot in the charging documents.

Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans

Ben Rosen @ben_rosen

this 👇👇👇

Sadly I can’t add anything else to this email besides this final note: it is unconventional for me to send GMB out on a Sunday, but since today is Mother’s Day I wanted a little something to look forward to. (For those of you who are new here, I lost my mom in 2019.) This edition—and all ones previous and future—are dedicated to the woman who made me the writer, woman, and good morning bitch that I am. I love you, mama.

Until next time,

xo,

Lily

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