good morning bitches, is this a friday newsletter now?

bad IG captions, entertaining siblings, wnba gifs & 👽👽👽

Good morning bitches,

Let’s jump right into last week’s postponed segment…

Now, I was planning to present these without comment, but that would be pretty off-brand for this newsletter wouldn’t it?

Important note before we begin: all of the following are meant to be clever. Got that? Clever.

I’ll be watching as y’all post those pumpkin patch pics 👀👀👀👀👀

sticking with the fall theme…

Now, a seemingly beach-themed podcast might not seem fall-themed, but stick with me.

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet is a sibling-hosted podcast that does dramatic readings of the most ridiculous one star reviews across the internet. Christine and Xandy don’t just resort to Amazon reviews—they dig deep into the niche corners of online shopping I wouldn’t dare go near. (Think, “sequined cornucopia sweatshirt from QVC” kind of niche.)

I highly recommend their recent episode, “Pumpkin Reviews” (see, I told you I’d get to the fall part!!!)

Look forward to: a heated exchange between an 11-year-old and 18-year-old about the merits of It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and an Orange County woman’s rage about her non-refundable $1.50 fall festival ticket.

Then…you simply must listen to “The Ultimate Karen”. The title explains it all, and it will exceed your expectations.

Look forward to: a dentist’s LENGTHY response to her one-star review of his “rude” demeanor.

Now, speaking of siblings…

you should watch:

The Other Two follows two siblings, one a struggling actor and the other…well, complete shitshow, as they suddenly adjust to becoming a celebrity family after their 13-year-old brother ChaseDreams goes viral. As The Guardian put it, “the TV show that asks what if Justin Bieber had two loser siblings?” The cherry of ridiculousness on top is brought by their overly enthusiastic mom, Pat (Molly Shannon), and Chase’s manager, Scooter (Ken Marino). 

I love that The Other Two doesn’t go for the low-hanging fruit. It would be easy to have the famous little brother (played by TikTok star Case Walker) be a total dick, but they paint him as sweet, earnest, and….a little dumb. 

It’s produced by Lorne Michaels, so naturally the show is littered with SNL cast members and celebrity cameos. The writing is sharp, the jokes are laugh-out-loud funny, and the older brother (Drew Tarver) looks like a young Jason Bateman. Win-win!

The Guilty starring Jake Gyllenhaal and streaming on Netflix is a remake of a 2018 Danish film of the same name. It’s a very up-close peek into a night in the life of a cop who was put on 911 duty after an (at first) unknown incident that happened on his patrol.

It’s hovering at around 3 stars and critics tend to not really care for it, mostly for pretentious ~film~ reasons.

Basically, their reasoning is: why remake a movie from 3 years ago? (The answer, naturally, is Americans still struggle with having to watch with English subtitles…something I hope Squid Game will help change.)

The fact is, it’s been in the top 10 on Netflix since it premiered two weeks ago. It’s good. It’s thrilling. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal. That’s all you need to know.

this week in Chicago sports:

Lol, betcha didn’t see that headline coming, huh?

The Chicago Sky are in the WNBA finals! After winning game one on Sunday, Phoenix beat them in overtime Wednesday night. Game three is at home Friday night (I’ll be there 😈)

One good thing to come out of last night’s game was this moment from Phoenix Sun player/Kendall Jenner’s boyfriend, Devin Booker:

*adds to meme folder*

Diana Taurasi’s Bun @DT3sBun

Same energy @DevinBook

You might be wondering why I am talking about sports for the first time in this newsletter’s 3-year existence. This summer I was the supervising producer for my station’s special called “Chicago Sky: Beyond The Court”, which put a spotlight on women in sports, covered the team’s social justice involvement, and, of course, profiled hometown hero Candace Parker’s return from 12-year career in LA.

Getting into the project was a challenge—I knew absolutely nothing about professional basketball, let alone the WNBA. But these women are easy to fall in love with. They are, quite simply, incredible.

You can watch the special below. There are little chapter markers to mark the features on Candace Parker (2:28), Social Justice (9:30), and Women in Sports (16:15).

that point-and-shoot camera reminds me…

Yes, it still has Snake. No, you can’t buy it in the US. Womp womp

headline of the week:

This sounds straight out of The Onion, but sadly nothing about it is satire. Demi Lovato revealed this nugget of absurdity while promoting their new docuseries, Unidentified with Demi Lovato.

“I think that we have to stop calling them aliens because 'aliens' is a derogatory term for anything. That’s why I like to call them ETs! So yeah, that’s a little tidbit. A little information that I learned."

I was about to jump on the train of “eh, she was just making a joke!” but LOOK at this EDITOR’S NOTE:

I feel my own Fox News-style rant coming on so for the benefit of myself and every reader, I’m outta here 👽🚀🌝

Until next time,

xo,

Lily

Hey, wanna do me a favor? Click that little heart icon. Leave a comment! It lets me know you liked this newsletter, and helps me get it out to more people. 🖤